1979 was the year I was born. I have two wonderful children, ages 19 and 8, whom I adore. My first husband died in 2015, just a week before the birth of my second child, a lovely girl, when I was nine months pregnant. For the first time in my life, I was a mother without a spouse on whom to rely or share the burden of raising, seeing, and becoming a light in this world. My life appeared to be unraveling all around me.
I asked myself the cliched questions "why me?" and "what am I going to do?" after losing my partner when I needed him the most. Like most people who have experienced such a significant loss, I felt lost, disheartened, and hopeless. Still, I realized I would have to pull myself out of this deep, dark, sad, lonely place to be a role model for my children and live God's life. From when I was a youngster, I knew I was made for more than the black abyss I had fallen into. Though I knew what was in me, I was perplexed and concerned about what was surrounding me; how would I immerse from that black hole, that place of despair, of helplessness? How would I fulfill my God-given aspirations as a single mother with a preteen and a newborn?
These previous events paved the road for my bittersweet journey. And it is with a grateful heart that I wish to share with my audience in the hope that they, too, can discover hope and faith that they, too, can be all that they were created to be.
But, before we go into the specifics of my bittersweet existence, allow me to transport you to my youth. Ahh, My childhood was filled with fond recollections. I grew raised in a loving, caring household with two committed parents, and I anticipated the same for my parenting experience. As a youngster, I fantasized about replicating my upbringing and handing it to my children, but it was not. I was brilliant, ambitious, and full of life when I was younger. My tremendous desire to help people stems back to my youth. I'd always wanted to make a difference in people's lives, and I envisioned myself doing it as a teacher or a lawyer. I constantly tried to please, help, and make the world a better place for those around me.
My academic career started in college and university, where I acquired certification as a paralegal. After years of hard effort, long hours, and rigorous research, I recognized it wasn't life for me; thus, I exchanged the pricey stilettos and glamorous suits and entered the fashion world. After all, it wasn't the stilettos or the clothes that made me unhappy; it was a personal dissatisfaction that sparked my interest in the fashion sector, notably after working long hours for income that did not reflect my worth. This personal dissatisfaction led to the opening of my clothing store.
My clothing store was my proudest accomplishment at the time. It reflected my personality, and I worked hard to make it a success. But, another impediment appeared just as I got my steps in order. Due to the 2008 economic crisis, I was closing my company and giving up my passion for fashion as my only choice.
After closing my Brooklyn, NY-based clothing business, I tried working from home as I started a home care daycare, another demanding but rewarding job; it gave me much fulfillment and brought joy into my life.
Given that we were the only daycare in the neighborhood, I thought we were doing well. Parents appreciated being able to drop off their children in the morning and return to them smiling in the afternoon. It was yet another satisfying experience for me. About a year into this journey, a larger daycare facility opened nearby, and the number of children in mine decreased. Due to a lack of money, I was again obliged to shut down the small family business, only to find myself starting over again.
These experiences, my dear friends, are a tiny part of my story that has influenced my bittersweet path and intrigued me to share the pains that led to my success with the world.
As you join me on this journey, I hope you may also find encouragement and remain faithful to your calling. Remember, behind every dark cloud, there is a silver lining.
"Life at best is bittersweet."
Jack Kirby